Can You Think a Dream to Reality?

As I gather my things to take to my friend's gold party, I am left looking at the bulk of my childhood possessions in my jewelry box. They survived the fallout from the whirlwind called my father as he sold off or threw away any items he could get his hand on in the final years I had contact with him. The jewelry was one of the lone survivors because in my early 20's world my jewelry box could fit in my car during my one car move out......enter the irony.

I owned jewelry that most young girls shouldn't have, or even really wanted. Crap Christmas and birthday gifts to "make up" for not being through out the year, or even better and more likely....being "too present" when he was around if you know what I mean.

Year after year necklaces, bracelets, rings that didn't even match me or my personality. It only got worse as I got older. How many birthstone anything does one person need. Necklaces started to appear in strange duplicate, just a constant reminder how out of touch he was with our family...and me as his daughter.

So I weeded through the crap keeping my favorite few pieces....the ones Mom obviously picked out, as they were things that I actually liked and enjoyed wearing. Those are my tangible memories I have available to pass along to my children one day......

That bring me to my next thought....if you dream about something enough will it become a reality?

I remember so clearly being in the delivery room with Vladi very soon after we received the horrible news that our Luke had left this world, and saying to Vladi, "We will be here again someday, and we will have a different ending to the story. This will not break us."

So will we? Will be be in that delivery room and hear water babe's heart thumb away on the monitor every second until we hear her (still unofficial) arrive into this world screaming at the top of her soprano lungs?

Can this be our reality?

Will I be able to give her my favorite ring that belonged to my Mom as a child and she let me wear as a child? Will I be able to hand it to her on her wedding day just as my Mom did? "It will bring you luck, " she said. "It was always your favorite."

Are these words I will have the pleasure of speaking to my water babe someday?