You were here with me...kicking, living, waiting to join this world. I think I wonder more today where it all went wrong, what could I have done different even more than day I was told you were gone.
354 days ago I lived in a very different world.....one I miss dearly....one I will never live in again. I lived in a world where ignorance is bliss, where healthy babies don't die, my heart was still in one piece, your Dad still loved me, or so I thought, promises were kept and your Dad was faithful.....that's the world I lived in 354 days ago....
If there was ever a doubt that you were not loved beyond understanding....just look at the aftermath now that you are gone. Nothing but broken shattered pieces with so many jagged edges, I'm not sure they can ever fit together again.
The thing I do love about the world I live in today 354 days later? I can answer that in one word.... our Babes. Thank you so much for sending your sissy down to be here on this Earth. I hope that someday I will be able to hug her here on earth while still feeling you so close by. I think it has been too much for my heart to understand so far. Please don't be distant my baby boy, because my heart longs to feel your near at this time. I will do my best to be open to seeing your magic again and we near your birthday. I love you.....those words are so small for a feeling so big.
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