"This sucks a big one! What can I do to help?"

To all those out there unsure of what to say to a friend or relative when tragedy strikes....say something......anything....well almost anything. We need to hear you say you care, that it upsets you too. We know there is nothing that will make us feel better, take away the pain, or being our loved one back.....but say something. Saying nothing makes that person feel like you are lessening the loss they have suffered, like you don't remotely understand the impact it has had on their life....or yours.

Don't let the person hear through the grapevine that you care or are upset. Here's how it goes, don't be afraid to knowledge the the person, to speak of the person who died, to give a hug.....Learn something through the tragic loss and realize to leave something unspoken between yourself and someone you love means you may never have the chance to say it. We are not promised tomorrow, so say it today.

Please step outside of yourself long enough to (I know you might be slightly uncomfortable) say, "This sucks a big one. What can I do to help?" Let that person know you care about them....and you hurt too.

No one expects prophetic words to shed some profound light on a horrible situation. No religious quotes of God's plan or God not making mistakes needed. Just speak to the heart of that person. We know you know that you can't imagine how it feels.....think about how uncomfortable you feel about talking to just us....well times that by the entire world's population for us....it feels like everyone avoids us like the plague....like grieving is contagious! Our grieving doesn't stop or gets because you have ignored it.

So next time give your friend or relative a refreshing approach....give them a hug (2 handed, not the weird side hug) and then say, "This sucks a big one! What can I do to help?"