Velamentous....aka stupid cord insertion that looks like a broom. Vessels spread out unprotected, exposed, life threatening....life ending....Yep my body which I thought I had finally found the "thing" it could do right unlike my past "issues" with my body ie thyroid and voice junk....grew a placenta and cord strong enough to grow my healthy baby boy, but not strong enough to get him here.....and I stand corrected.
I hope that the doctors didn't miss this on an ultrasound...I hope they didn't know. I don't want to deal with what it means if it was there on one of the ultrasound pictures....if this could have been prevented.....its hard enough knowing it could have possibly been diagnosed and prevented killing my Luke.
Will there every be a day that I stop searching for what happened to my poor little boy. I feel obsessed something pouring over every little piece of information analyzing it to the smallest detail searching for the answer....I know we my never know, but I can't help but trying. It feels like for every question I pose and every answer I receive I think of 10 more questions.
I feel like this is it though....this is the reason what I never will see my little man smile.....this stupid horrible word.....velamentous.....strong enough to grow my Luke strong for 9 long months, weak enough to kill him......
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