1. Your baby's name, birthday and date of death.
My Luke Stephen Vasquez born into this world sliently sleeping on July 28, 2009 at 5:22 in the morning.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
25 Questions
I found this list of questions listed on a support site for Babylost Moms....although I am not posting my responses to the group. I commit to answer one question a day, so I can answer it completely and not rushed. So here they are....
1. Your baby name and birthday and date of death
2. What caused your baby to pass away?
3. Where there any anticipated complications?
4. How long has it been since you have lost your baby?
5. Do you have any other children? If so how did you tell them, and did you have any complications?
6. Did you/do you have good support from your family and friends? Do you wish anyone would have reacted differently in anyway?
7. Have you gone through the different stages of grief? ( anger, denial, depression, bargaining, acceptance)
8. Where do you think babies go when they die?
9. Why do you think you where given this experience?
10. How do you feel when you hear or see friends and family having health pregnancies, babies and children?
11. Did you blame anyone for the loss of your baby?
12. If you knew your baby was going to die, did you make any special plans for them?
13. Has your signification other been supportive? How do you think they are dealing with their grief?
14. Often couples find if difficult to continue a relationship after the loss of a baby. Are you and your significant other still together? If so, how do you think you are making it work? If not, do you feel like your loss had an influence on your break-up?
15. How do you respond with someone asks you if you have any children?
16. When talking to new people, do you feel comfortable telling them about your baby, or do you avoid the subject? Why?
17. Describe how you felt at your baby's service.
18. Describe your baby's personality. If you baby was born asleep what kind of personality did they seem to have in the womb?
19. Is there a memory you have with your baby you cherish the most?
20. At point did you feel guilty about your baby's death? If so, why?
21. What did you learn from the time you had with your baby?
22. After your baby's death, do you do any special when you are thinking about them?
23. How long did you decide to keep the baby's nursery intact, and why?
24. How often do you visit your baby's grave/urn, or talk to your baby? Do you ever feel guilty for not spending enough time with them?
25. Is there any advice you would like to pass on to someone who has just lost their baby?
1. Your baby name and birthday and date of death
2. What caused your baby to pass away?
3. Where there any anticipated complications?
4. How long has it been since you have lost your baby?
5. Do you have any other children? If so how did you tell them, and did you have any complications?
6. Did you/do you have good support from your family and friends? Do you wish anyone would have reacted differently in anyway?
7. Have you gone through the different stages of grief? ( anger, denial, depression, bargaining, acceptance)
8. Where do you think babies go when they die?
9. Why do you think you where given this experience?
10. How do you feel when you hear or see friends and family having health pregnancies, babies and children?
11. Did you blame anyone for the loss of your baby?
12. If you knew your baby was going to die, did you make any special plans for them?
13. Has your signification other been supportive? How do you think they are dealing with their grief?
14. Often couples find if difficult to continue a relationship after the loss of a baby. Are you and your significant other still together? If so, how do you think you are making it work? If not, do you feel like your loss had an influence on your break-up?
15. How do you respond with someone asks you if you have any children?
16. When talking to new people, do you feel comfortable telling them about your baby, or do you avoid the subject? Why?
17. Describe how you felt at your baby's service.
18. Describe your baby's personality. If you baby was born asleep what kind of personality did they seem to have in the womb?
19. Is there a memory you have with your baby you cherish the most?
20. At point did you feel guilty about your baby's death? If so, why?
21. What did you learn from the time you had with your baby?
22. After your baby's death, do you do any special when you are thinking about them?
23. How long did you decide to keep the baby's nursery intact, and why?
24. How often do you visit your baby's grave/urn, or talk to your baby? Do you ever feel guilty for not spending enough time with them?
25. Is there any advice you would like to pass on to someone who has just lost their baby?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Tickled Pink
There Water Babes was floating on the screen punching, kicking, squirming, being difficult to measure just like Luke, with all the right parts, weighting in at a whopping 7oz, my healthy baby girl!!
Of course the day was not without a little emotional irony. Vladi's worst memory of the day we lost Luke was the room with the big ultrasound and the "best in the business" ultrasound tech. He was an interesting looking man, that I did make mental note of, but I was too busy being in labor and denying that anything this crazy was happening to us. Do believe I could pick him out of a line up, but Vladi.......Vladi could pick him out of a crowd of 1000's on a foggy rainy night. His very image is burned in his mind forever.
So there we sat in the dim lit room at the BBL's office waiting for the ultrasound to begin. Nervous, I thought I was going to puke, Vladi sitting there ringing his clammy hands. The door swung open, and there stoodthe man that can stop Vladi in his tracks...lit from behind like he was some Godly creature. I turn to look at Vladi to make sure he was still sitting in the chair, as I waited to hear the thump of him hitting the floor or the thump of Vladi's fist conncting with this poor man's face.
"Hi, I'm Mr. G, it's nice to meet you," he says.....I couldn't help myself but to laugh slightly and respond, "Ooooohhhh Mr. G, we've met before, on the worst day of our lives, (insert continued talk-laughing with certain discomfort), but today we hope for better news." As I said before Mr. G is a bird of a slightly different color, so I don't think he really got what I was saying, nor knew how to respond. I let an awkward beat or two pass not knowing whether to further explain myself....I guess I hoped he had his ESP turned on that day, and would magically know what the heck I was rambling on about.....I wasn't that fortunate.
So he continued on with the ultrasound. I held my breath as saw all her organs and such, and marked them off my mental check list. I waited trying not to stop him, so I could run the to bathroom and loose whatever was in my stomach.......I waited for the moment he would excuse himself to go get the BBL and the room would fill with people as we were crushed again......
But it never happened, we made it too the end of the exam, and he printed us pictures and tells us our babes is a girl. So me, Vladi, Luke and Water Babes are not defined a room, or by an ultrasound or even Mr. G......they will not seal her fate or ours....that is one thing I am sure of.
Of course the day was not without a little emotional irony. Vladi's worst memory of the day we lost Luke was the room with the big ultrasound and the "best in the business" ultrasound tech. He was an interesting looking man, that I did make mental note of, but I was too busy being in labor and denying that anything this crazy was happening to us. Do believe I could pick him out of a line up, but Vladi.......Vladi could pick him out of a crowd of 1000's on a foggy rainy night. His very image is burned in his mind forever.
So there we sat in the dim lit room at the BBL's office waiting for the ultrasound to begin. Nervous, I thought I was going to puke, Vladi sitting there ringing his clammy hands. The door swung open, and there stoodthe man that can stop Vladi in his tracks...lit from behind like he was some Godly creature. I turn to look at Vladi to make sure he was still sitting in the chair, as I waited to hear the thump of him hitting the floor or the thump of Vladi's fist conncting with this poor man's face.
"Hi, I'm Mr. G, it's nice to meet you," he says.....I couldn't help myself but to laugh slightly and respond, "Ooooohhhh Mr. G, we've met before, on the worst day of our lives, (insert continued talk-laughing with certain discomfort), but today we hope for better news." As I said before Mr. G is a bird of a slightly different color, so I don't think he really got what I was saying, nor knew how to respond. I let an awkward beat or two pass not knowing whether to further explain myself....I guess I hoped he had his ESP turned on that day, and would magically know what the heck I was rambling on about.....I wasn't that fortunate.
So he continued on with the ultrasound. I held my breath as saw all her organs and such, and marked them off my mental check list. I waited trying not to stop him, so I could run the to bathroom and loose whatever was in my stomach.......I waited for the moment he would excuse himself to go get the BBL and the room would fill with people as we were crushed again......
But it never happened, we made it too the end of the exam, and he printed us pictures and tells us our babes is a girl. So me, Vladi, Luke and Water Babes are not defined a room, or by an ultrasound or even Mr. G......they will not seal her fate or ours....that is one thing I am sure of.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Here we go Lukie....
Please be with us today, my dear Luke, as we go see your water babes today. Help keep this little babes safe and warm....and remind that babes to grow big and strong like you my sweet boy. You already know my Luke, but know we will know if this water babes is really the little girl we've thought she's been all along.....we will know very soon. I miss you my sweet sweet angel boy. Would you let me know you are near? I feel like I've missed your magic lately being too wrapped up in worry for water babes and sadness of you not being on this earth with us. I love you more everyday, but you already know that too, don't you?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Thanks for sharing, but.....
I could go on to have 50 more living healthy children, but there will always be an empty chair at my dinner table. So, no, my Water Babes is not a band-aid for my Luke not being here on this Earth, but again thanks for sharing!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Dear Water Babes,
Thank you for letting me now you are down there....I was beginning to worry since I hadn't felt you in a little while.
I will say, I am nervous about being responsible for knowing your movements and the constant worry that will most definitely come with your movements increasing.
I have to say though, it is quite nice getting a little "hello mom"....it makes me smile. I can't wait to get to know you Water Babes. Will you say hello every morning nice and early like your brother did? I can't wait to find out!
Keep kicking my little one,
Mom
P.S. I love you :)
I will say, I am nervous about being responsible for knowing your movements and the constant worry that will most definitely come with your movements increasing.
I have to say though, it is quite nice getting a little "hello mom"....it makes me smile. I can't wait to get to know you Water Babes. Will you say hello every morning nice and early like your brother did? I can't wait to find out!
Keep kicking my little one,
Mom
P.S. I love you :)
Observation....
Did you know that about the time that Luke's hummingbird started bringing a friend with him to visit, is the same time we conceived water babes?! Maybe he was trying to tell me something.....
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