Have I told you?

Have I told you lately just how much it sucks to lose your baby? Yeah I know as you can see I haven't from my lack of blog entries lately.

Well it just sucks.....it sucks bigger than sucks....I don't know what's bigger than that, but it is whatever it called. Suck to the infinte power.

BreakEven

I know this song was meant for a woman and man breaking up and some of the lyrics don't fit....up in some strange sense it explains how my hearts feels. My Luke is gone and I know he is OK and is having a wonderful carefree time in Heaven, but here it has left me to try and pick up all the pieces....to make some sense of it all....Can one really expect their heart to heal from this?

And yes, some words have been changed...

I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing
Praying to a god that I don't believe in
'cus I've got time while he's got freedom
'cus when a heart breaks, no it don't break even

His best days are some of my worse
I'm still trying to put him first
I'm wide awake, he's has no trouble sleeping
'Cus when a heart breaks, no it don't break even....even....no

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cus he's moved on and I'm still grieving
'Cus when a heart breaks, no it don't break even...no

What am I going to do when the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
One still in love when the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces
'Cus when a heart breaks, no it don't breaks even

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your wings, and I took the blame
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cus you left me with no love, no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
'Cus I got time while he's got freedom
'Cus when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even, no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
Oh I'm glad you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
Oh I'm glad you're ok, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
One still in love while the other one's leaving
I'm falling to pieces
'Cus when a heart breaks it don't break even, no

Oh it don't break even
Oh it don't break even
Oh it don't break even