To Let Go of the Pain is not to Let Go of You

I finally understood yesterday that I was equating feeling the constant pain of loosing you as not forgetting you, and if I was to let go of pain I would begin to forget you....and in turn others would forget you.

This isn't true, you are not this overwhelming pain of loss, this massive grieving that has lived so heavy in my heart. You will not slip from my memory because I move forward and embrace life now with your sissy...quite the opposite, she will help keep your memory very much alive.

You do not live in that place of pain, you live in my heart and ahead of me beckoning me back to the world to continue my journey on the road to you.

I will never be ashamed to speak your name, for you are my beautiful 1st born son...you will not be forgotten even if I leave some of that pain behind.